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Some Crimson Desert Fans (it's not even out yet, lads) Say Reviewers Had To Play It Too Quickly. So I'mma Do It Real Slow Like.

PJ O'Reilly

• 2 min read

28 Days Later (maybe even 29)

Get it round ye, Kliff, ye anti-reindeer pos

The reviews for Pearl Abyss's latest effort, Crimson Desert, are now online (for PC only) and, as expected, some grown-ass humans are shitting and pissing their pants over the wide spread of scores - which range from perfect 10s to 5s, from what I've seen so far.

Anyhoo, I love it when a game gets mixed scores like this because, well, it kicks off a load of mad shit chat and shouting online, yes, but also - and doubly so because I've already pre-ordered Crimson Desert, so I'm out of pocket here - it makes for games that I kinda want to play all the more, just to find out who was right or wrong. Then, I can join in the chat like a smart-arse drunk on hindsight later down the road. That sort of thing.

The game's world is apparently bigger than Jesus

One of the main arguments I've seen so far over on ye olde Reddit, is that reviewers only had two weeks with the PC version of the game (which is apparently 1000 times bigger than twice the size of Skyrim filtered through RDR2). And so, the claim is that there's no way anyone got down and dirty properly with the entire world as a whole in 14 days. There's no way they could settle into a combat style or job type - or whatever else is awaiting me when I start it later tonight - and really get a proper appreciation of the thing. They rushed it, in short.

So, I thought seeing as I'm available, and it seems like something to focus on for a bit, I'll review this enormous thing slowly over the next month, let's say, and then I'll drop my review (and maybe some shouting and being angry at things along the way) on here and see how I square up compared to all the rest of the scores. Hey, I don't even need to be in a rush, so I can learn to do barrel rolls on dragons and all that shit if needs be.

The desert in Crimson Desert was created using real sand

Interestingly, judging by the game's online forums, some patches are already flying out the door that have fixed a bunch of inventory and UI issues - which many reviews have been negative on. Hey, maybe Pearl Abyss are gonna turn this into the slickest show in town before I'm even out of the tutorial area. I am forever full of hope.

Alright Kliff McDuff, if that is your real name, let's do this.

🙏